| Landing the Plane |
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| 12:53am 10/01/2008 |
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Tomorrow, I return to Campus, to finish the job I started August, 2004.
Tonight, I contemplate the journey, focused especially at the recent past, present and future.
Yesterday, I had concrete ideas and plans for the possible future.
Right now, I end this post with way too much on my mind to talk to anyone other than my Saviour.
I've been calling it my "academic victory lap".
"When you're almost there
When you're almost at the end
Don't stop now
Keep on goin'"
--Finish Line -- by me, several years ago. |
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| The Best Thursday _Ever_ |
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| 03:01pm 11/10/2007 |
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Dear Diary,
It was potentially the worst of times...
It ended up to be the best of times...
He is having the best Thursday, ever.
Went to bed late, but that's ok, because the alarm was set to go off and wake him up nine-thirty. The alarm went off. And, it woke him up at nine-thirty. His college corpse decided to re-set the alarm for 10:10am. That would've worked. But he woke up again, and felt the feeling that a person feels when they've slept far too well.
And the clock's current standing? 11:26am.
Depressing. Back under the covers and under the intoxicating influence of sleep.
Up for air. 12:40pm? If he got up then, he'd have a half hour to get food and get to class. Pressure. He wanted to check online for a continuation of two conversations that he'd been having with the same person. He couldn't do both. He'd already missed chapel, and that was what was supposed to start off the day right. It looks like sleep had become his destiny. Posture sags back into horizontal retreat. He wasn't as hungry as he was plain exhausted.
1:03pm. Well, it would be good for him to get up now.
He gets dressed and looks for invisible shoes. Finally finds shoes. Climbs out of the door and up the stairs. And up the walkway stairs, and past the tennis courts. He doesn't want to look at his cell phone. He does anyway. 1:16pm. Dissappointment with self. So undefeatably, typically, bad-reputationally late... He waves at Jake Wolf who is walking his way with a girl.
Jake's hands are in the air. He is happy.
"It's cancelled!"
Suddenly, everything changed.
Jake and he happily walked back to Quad 2, Jake showed him the paper he'd gotten back from his professor, and it was unbelievably good. "I got 100% on my speech!" Jake said. "Check this out." The speech critique read "This is the best speech yet in the class."
What professor even SAYS that?
Jake's joy had rubbed off.
Jake asked Brian what he was up to next. Brian thought about how his old, abandoned plans were now back on the front burner, and said "I'm going to hit up Naz." Jake came, too.
The eating experience was that much better, as the three boys (joined by Matt Landby) agreed that this was the best day. They saw a classmate across the room. Mutual rejoicing ensued. "You know, the way this day is going, you should find the girl you like and ask her out." There was a jubalent laughter throughout. He thought about the girl that he liked, but he'd already been thinking about her. Interesting how the idea of asking her out on a great day may have been what he wanted once before... but how, now, he no longer relied on God's blessings. Now, he relied on God. He was happy to not ask her out, and just looked forward to spending time with her, and letting God be the decider of when to ask out. Brother, what a day!
Could it get any better? He remembered how much more fun it was in a day to think of it as "the best day ever". He went to the library (where he is writing from right now) and read the best e-mail he'd ever read. It was written as excellently as an award-winning essay, for its purpose. It was written by a dear friend, and it was so very thought-provoking.
He was looking forward to the night. He was going to eat dinner with a good friend, and hopefully be, himself, a good friend. He had play practice from 7-10, where he could excercise a talent. He had friends. He had Someone behind it all, who was so much closer than a girl or a friend or both could ever be. He had love. This week, he'd been so up in the air, but today. Today, he was satisfied--not with the day, but with living in the day.
He was just visited by guys from Moyer. He loves spending time with them. Two important people, to him, just got packages in the mail. He didn't get any mail, but their packages asked him to make it the best Mail Center experience. A librarian friend just handed him a white, medium guitar pick. He had only ever had the ultra-thin in the color white.
And can it be that I should gain an interest in the Savior's blood?
Died He for me, who caused him pain--for me who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be, that though my God shouldst die for me? |
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| Post-past Message to the Future |
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| 11:21pm 17/06/2007 |
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Dear Future,
I do not know you yet, but I know some general things about you. I know that you contain many things waiting for me. I have learned that I will never actually meet you, but at the last second, like meteors that burn up instantly when they enter the earth's atmosphere, you melt into the one called Present. Present is always here with me, but I don't always think about my friend the Present. In fact, the Present isn't always my friend. Present and I never understood each other, once. But, things have been changing.
Your colleague, Past has seen me hurting, lately--even though Past remembers so many good things--and I have been regretting Past a lot lately. Well, that's because what happened with my friend the Present made it look like you were out of anyone's control, and you were cruel and reckless and waiting for my disappointment--and that it was all Past's fault. I wonder... why was it made to look like that? Certainly you had nothing to do with it.
Future, you change colors frequently and you change shades dramatically. I know. People tell me that you look bright, then that you look dim, then that you are getting better... were you sick before? I hope you're well now--but anyway... The people who tell me this don't know you, in fact...I don't know you. But here's why I'm writing this to you: I know the only One who knows you completely. He named you, He bound you in place and He holds you firmly in His power.
I'm writing to you, also, because I want to tell you something big: I'm not afraid of you. It's not that I hold anything against you or that I'm not taking you seriously or that I don't think you're there for me... it's just that you are often the one people don't like to think about openly, and when they do think about you, it frightens them. That was me too, before my courage came to me--before I knew your Superior.
Well, we're in the same boat, Future. Your boss is my boss. You are my every destination. So, I'm writing to you, lastly, to ask you a defining question. Because your Master is my Master, because He owns us, and planned our relationship out from the beginning of time, because all the people I meet and the tears I cry and every blessing found where you're at is mine, in the Name of the Savior who gave you to me, I ask you this:
Will you be my friend?
Sincerely,
>Brian Scott Pearson |
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| The end of the home preparation |
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| 12:15am 08/06/2007 |
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Dear Diary,
This is it. I leave soon. Today, I had an adventure involving a turtle, 4 kids, danger and salvation. Isn't that vague, and interesting?
Well, as I looked through the last 50 posts, I was surprised. I thought I would be ashamed for how I talked about things, but it really wasn't that bad. Cool how you can make the dorky ones private, and the good ones friends only. I like that option. Don't feel like this isn't a good one too though, Diary. It's all good when I'm talking to you...you're so nice and listen-y.
Maybe when I come home from my first week of being a big camp director, I'll have lots of stories to share with you, ohh wouldn't that be fun?? What's that, Diary? Condescending tone? Why, dear diary, whatever are your little eyesy-wiseys reading? I wouldn't talk down to such a big, grown up diary. What do you mean "This is stupid"? Hey! I'm the only one that writes in you, so ya'd better take what I give you, pal.
Anyway, I'm going to apply what I've learned about love, camp and creativity over the next 21 days. If anyone sneaks a peek at you, Diary, you should say "shame on you for prying into secret lives" and then ask them to pray for me, because I think I'll be a little lonely, and a lot under the guns of both my own stupidity and any evil forces. My friend told me I need a secretary. Maybe next year, but my dad keeps telling me "Don't set next year in stone" ... Doesn't that sound ominous? Do you know what that big word means? ... Don't talk about my mother that way, Diary.
That's it, I'm going to finish talking to you now. You'd better behave whilst I'm gone, d'ya hear me mister? Say, one more thing! The focus of this month is to be submissive and obedient. Let'cha know how well I do later, alligator!
Tongue in cheek-ly yours,
>Brian Pearson
PS: Remember when I used to talk about love? Yeah, you were right. No, it's not. |
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| Oi |
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| 07:01pm 27/05/2007 |
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Dear Diary,
Wow. What a long, long time.
You might think I turned Emo after reading some of this stuff.
The problem with recording meaningful thought, that I've found, is that I'm sharing part of my heart with ... anyone. Journaling is great. Sharing thoughts with friends is great, don't get me wrong. But there are certain things like writing down names and hopes and linking names with hopes that makes this sort of communication a major sentimentalizer. ... Wait, why does the word "Emo" have a red correction line thingy (so does the word "thingy") underneath it, but not the word "sentimentalizer" ?!?! That's kinda funny.
Well, anyway... the point is, Diary, that I want to write to you about my observations and thoughts and dreams and ideas and on and on... but, last time I did that, my imagination ran into the opposite direction of reality, into fantastic lies.
Am I to guard my heart, oh sweet Diary, while leaving it down here for You and anyone else (friend, foe, secret admiree, or random stranger) to know? Well, Diary, I just don't want to do that any more. How about some secret posts that I share just with you? oooOOOoo.
I'm off to help Dad "with something" but I don't know what yet.
Cheerio Chum,
>Brian |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Stereo-Typical (very postal service ... a little on the techno side) |
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| 02:29am 17/04/2006 |
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Sterio-typical:
Sitting in an office,
surrounded by papers,
plastics and windows
Media player
Music is all about motifs
My Microsoft-spoken
Words click into being
I hear the humming
My Firefox freedom
Music is all about motifs
Repeat, repeat
Insert Delete
Enter into the world of clicks and beeps
Back-space out
For a half hour
Google seaching
For truth &
Now I’m 2:15 tired
To complete every thought
I should be in bed
But I am not (yet)
(Yet) and then I recollect
The day-time decision
To exercise and
Write a revision
Music is all about motifs
Repeat, repeat
Enter Delete
Back-space out
For a half hour
When was the last time
You took a shower?
Repeat, repeat
Enter Delete
Back-space out cold
Play me something different then this stereotypical song that has gone cold
Play me something different then this stereotypical song that has gone cold
Play me something different then this stereotypical song and hey go
Play outside today, because it is grass, trees, air to breathe and
Repeat repeat
Control, Alt, delete
(computer voice: “goodbye”) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Polite (think a poetic pinch of Relient K, Postal Service, and something like Death Cab. |
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| 02:28am 17/04/2006 |
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I hope I don’t sound too blunt, but I’m sick and tired of this.
We duck, we dodge we hodge-podge yes’s and no’s with excuses
Well I sure don’t mean to ruffle feathers but I’m going to make the argument
That actions speak louder than weak, hide-and-seek profound speech
But what, you ask, would people think if I did dare to sink into a chair and tell the card flipping truth? Here’s your tell: tell the truth discard, and disregard reproof of it.
Here’s the test. My request
If you don’t mind my asking – may I love you
May I hold umbrellas above you? Can we please shoot the breeze?
If you don’t mind me slightly implying
I want to want to love you
To live to serve you, don’t deserve you but girl
Can I open doors for you, can I give you my time can I hug you?
(Does that bug you?)
Your vocabulary seems to have undergone plastic surgery.
Some fantastic splurgery of the unimaginative part of the world bruised your brain’s capillaries more than you know, like you know, like, I just feel like post modernity has
Taken the cake and eaten it too, along with you, Oh you, please won’t you
step away from the everyday verbal sashay that keeps us from reality
And step into the say and do, what’s true you’re outfit needs something
Like a belt of truth
If you don’t mind my asking – may I love you
May I hold umbrellas above you? Can we please shoot the breeze?
If you don’t mind me slightly implying
I want to want to love you
To live to serve you, don’t deserve you but girl
Can I open doors for you, can I give you my time can I hug you?
(Does that bug you?)
You’re pretending that you’re not pretending and it’s unending in subtlety
condescending self-refuting stuck-in-cement-passivity. (ooooh)
And you’re just pretending that you’re not pretending, that you’re not pretending
And you’re just sending mixed messages that try to qualify the by-and-by’s of the “I’ll get by’s” and the “see, technically that wasn’t a lie”
(Repeat Chorus 2x, first as a sort of fade away style, second, full-fledged ending in git.) |
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| thoughts for a bit. |
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| 02:27am 17/04/2006 |
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The night is a tie-fighter... and I am a coinflip's difference between Luke and Gold Leader. |
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| revision |
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| 07:33pm 31/01/2006 |
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mood: Contemplative music: Roommate, Ben's D.C. Talk live CD :)
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[If you want to include the time where I accidentally licked a cotton ball full of alcohol while I was trying to clean a wound... then x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
[ ] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[x] I am for Bush.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[Charlie Brown x] I collect comic books.
[eh, most people do that a little] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic
[x] I love Disney Movies.
[ ] I am a sucker for hair/eyes
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[ ] I curse regularly.
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[that's like a half x..] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[neverrrr!] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[ I bake... cereal well..] I bake well
[every day x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.
[I don't deserve it, but] I have a job.
[ she's a person TOO] I love Martha Stewart.
[x] I am in love with love.
[X] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[un poco] I am self conscious.
[whatEVer] I like to laugh.
[does second hand smoking count?] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[:) x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I've been out of this country.
[Angels/Demons] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I see a therapist.
[ ] I love white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me.
[x off and on] I play video games.
[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship
[x] Gotten lost in your city.
[x] Saw a shooting star.
[x] Been to any other countries besides the united states
[ ] I Had a serious Surgery
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[ ] Kissed a Stranger
[x] Hugged a stranger
[x Rainmaker] Been in a fist fight
[ ] Been arrested while i got taken home by the cops
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ ] Made out in an elevator
[ ] Swore at your parents
[well it wasn't as much a kick as it was a wiffle ball...] Kicked a guy where it hurts
[x con Dios] Been in love
[ ] Been to a casino
[ ] Been skydiving
[ ] Broken a bone
[x good ol' senior day] Skipped school
[ ] Flashed someone.
[ ] Saw a therapist
[ ] Done the splits
[I have played it's cousin "Spin the Bible"] Played spin the bottle.
[x] Gotten stitches
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[Nathan Wong would NOT let me go from a painful position. His mother spoke with my mother soon after x] Bitten someone
[x] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x if you count Jake Noch's forhead..] Kissed a member of the same sex
[x, OK, SO after sadies of '04, I kiiiiinda bumped Luke Weirsma's parked car, but it miraculously DIDN'T do a THING!] Crashed into a friend's car.
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x, little 5 year old Brian stole bubble gum from Byerly's. spankings ensued soonafter.] Shoplifted
[ ] Been fired
[ ] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[roommate roullette date count? x] Gone on a blind date
[ ] Lied to a friend
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher
[ ] Celebrated mardigras in New Orleans.
[x] Been to Europe
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[ ] Had children
[x] Saw someone dying.
[ ] Been to Africa
[x] Driven over 500 miles in one day
[x] Been to Canada
[x] Been to Mexico
[x you ask me that question NOW? what, do you think I SWAM to europe??] Been on a plane
[x] Seen Stonehenge
[ ] Thrown up in a bar
[x] Eaten Sushi
[ ] Been snowboarding
[x] Been Skiing
[x] Met someone in person from the internet
[ ] Been to a moto cross show
[ ] Lost a child
[oh so close. ask me in 3 months.] Gone to college 2 years
[ ] Graduated college
[ ] Done hard drugs
[x] Taken painkillers
[ ] Had someone cheat on you
[ ] Cheated on someone
[x I will miss God until I see Him.] Miss someone right now |
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| Tightly shifting smirk |
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| 04:44pm 30/01/2006 |
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1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.
"Calling a randomly selected household, they simply asked what the radio was tuned to now"
PS: What are the odds that the 5th sentence in the 123rd page in a random book would have an ERROR?!?!!?!? (the correction would be "at the time" instead of "now" -- wild huh?) |
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| A Something-O-Clock Shaddow |
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| 10:51pm 24/01/2006 |
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For the past week or so, Nathan Cousins has been speaking a hilarious phrase to me.
He says "I'm your Snooky."
Ever since the play started, my character (Jim Curry)
has had a crush on a certain girl named
Snooky Maguire.
Well, I told him that there is a real life Snooky that I'm wild about,
But I won't give him a name,
so
He says "I'm your Snooky."
Well, tonight at dinner,
I saw him right away, and then an hour later,
I came up to him and grinned real big, so as to make him
think a little bit (hoping he'd think that she was in Naz or something)
I put my tray away, and walked over to check my mail.
That's when I talked with Bethany Coffiet and Jolene Bottemiller.
Bethany had a letter for Christina Bjorkman, that Bethany was saying was the
Dean's List announcement.
Jolene, not hearing this, noticed that
she had an envelope and wondered out loud what it was for.
Noticing that the envelopes were virtually the same
I said "It's the Dean's List--Do you get good grades?"
"I suppose so," She said.
Then I promplty said, "I don't make the dean's list."
"Why not?" Asked Bethany.
Just then, Nathan is walking by, and I says
"If the dean ever saw me, the first thing he'd say would be--"
Then, just as I'm saying this, Nathan shakes my hand and
He says "I'm your Snooky."
Then he promptly walks away,
And everybody laughs.
The End. |
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| Requiem of Night - 1:54 - 3:52 am |
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| 01:54am 18/12/2005 |
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She said "ok"
and
it was quiet.
The wooden floor
didn't sound. She shut the door,
didn't sound. I looked outside.
Up on a roof
top
birds were singing,
but nothing more
could be found. My body's corpse
could be found. I took a ride
down in the streets
of
Minneapolis.
Your gentle smile
in my mind. Or was it just
in my mind. I held my breath.
Breathe, inhale oxygen from the sweetest forest flower, then exhale
and when I pinched
my
superstition,
the dream was gone.
You were there. But all along
You were there, and said my name.
And when I could
not
speak you kissed me
The heartbeat sensor
was my tell. Strapped to an IV
was my tell. I can't decide whose life saved whose.
(Whose life saved whose?)
You choose but while you do we
breathe, inhale oxygen from the sweetest forest flower, then exhale and
breathe, letting lungs take in the beauty when life is a dream,
once asleep,
and now awaken |
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| 11:01pm 14/11/2005 |
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We clash,
We look at Picasso's
And our faces are
the only things that
can't relate.
God, did You
make Picasso just to
make us squint
a little harder,
laugh about it with
our friends,
but then go home and
wonder a litte bit?
If I need to
brake, putz restlessly,
shake with frustration,
and then fall
on a painting,
broken, eyes out of whack,
Make me a Picasso. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Thoughts about computer labs... |
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| 02:38am 25/10/2005 |
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mood:  nostalgic
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Computer labs have an on-the-way-to-anywhere convenience that I enjoy. I am in one. I am not alone. about 8 other people are here. I'm in the Riley building. Computer labs, man... schewweet.
@ 4something I'm going to sing in choir.
K, bye ev'ry buddy. |
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| Overcome |
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| 04:47pm 21/10/2005 |
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mood:  content music: Chris Rice -- Lemonade
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www.biblelookup.com...
1. Luk 9:32
Now Peter and his companions had been overcome with sleep; but when they were fully awake, they saw His glory and the two men standing with Him.
2. Joh 16:33
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."
3. Act 20:9
And there was a certain young man named Eutychus sitting on the window sill, sinking into a deep sleep; and as Paul kept on talking, he was overcome by sleep and fell down from the third floor, and was picked up dead.
4. Rom 12:21
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
5. 2Pe 2:19
promising them freedom while they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved.
6. 2Pe 2:20
For if after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first.
7. 1Jo 2:13
I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I have written to you, children, because you know the Father.
8. 1Jo 2:14
I have written to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one.
9. 1Jo 4:4
You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.
10. 1Jo 5:4
For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world-- our faith.
11. Rev 5:5
and one of the elders said to me, "Stop weeping; behold, the Lion that is from the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has overcome so as to open the book and its seven seals."
12. Rev 11:7
And when they have finished their testimony, the beast that comes up out of the abyss will make war with them, and overcome them and kill them.
13. Rev 13:7
And it was given to him to make war with the saints and to overcome them; and authority over every tribe and people and tongue and nation was given to him.
14. Rev 17:14
"These will wage war against the Lamb, and the Lamb will overcome them, because He is Lord of lords and King of kings, and those who are with Him [are the] called and chosen and faithful." |
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| 04:28pm 21/10/2005 |
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I have had one constant God. He is never changing.
This world spins, but constant God, He is never changing.
Frowning eyebrows from on their eyes, this was Christ's prediction.
I hold on to Constant God. He is never changing.
Note aside from my floating heart: Thanks Matt and Ryno for being there and encouraging me this last quad. I enjoyed it. Everyone else who reads this, have a great weekend.
Joh 16:33
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." |
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